what an odd day it has been.

feeling quite out of sorts and yet, having a million things hurtling at me all at once. i am not sure why it had felt like i had been in such a tangle from start to end when it was really just another ordinary day. "do not forget to write" is the last thing my boss says to me at the close of our interaction. and suddenly, i find myself delving into my folder of stored interactions. it was truly unintentional but like pulling loose thread, the moment i had started, i just could not stop.

and the more i read, the sadder i became. not for any other reason but for once again realising that the truth was, it was all just an ugly rock, not a gemstone. i had gotten so unnecessarily wrapped up in newness, in dumb hope—it was really just one big, huge fall i had ultimately set myself up for. i do not regret the folder delve. i regret not staying realistic.

the truth of the matter is that whenever anything feels too good to be true, it often ends up being. so what is the lesson here, kids? wise the fuck up. quit being a sucker.