being that i was so completely overcome by emotions, i had to really take a step back and take a good, hard look at all of the facts. and the biggest fact is that it had never been me. i was never a choice so why was he ever a consideration for me?

i truly believe that in order to continue successfully moving forward, i really (really) need to remember these lessons so that i do not lose sight of the progress i have made and am meant to continue making. backsliding must never be an option.

the very first thing that must be established is that i have to be the clear and only choice. there must be no questions, no shred of doubt—this time, it has to be that i am the one who is pursued till the very end. and without this fundamental requisite, it is simply no go.

the second thing is that respect needs to be the core of the relationship. again, if there is resistance and/or conflict on this then, do not pass go, do not proceed, no game. total tap out.

and that is just how things need to be from here on out otherwise all of this constant falling apart and piecing back together will be for naught. history will always only repeat if the lesson is not learnt well.

in order for the outcome to be different, different choices have to be made. and in order for that to actually happen, there has to be consciousness when it comes to assessments. i know that i have it in me to break this—i really know. i just have, have, have to stop being so easily swayed by silly emotions.

what i want to fully quit once and for all is all of this self-inflicted hurt and with each and every day, the thing that i have to remember to focus on is compounding this strength.

i can do this; i have got this. this time, baby, BULLETPROOF.