in Big Brother, when the number of contestants begin to dwindle down to a specific number, the remaining players need to start being smart and paying attention to something called jury management. i feel that in life, whenever one is about to close the door on a relationship, it becomes crucial, too, to consider how to put it down well. now, plenty will actually be mindful to do this in their professional lives—burn no bridges. one never knows if one should one day want (or in some cases, need) to knock on that door again. however, the lamentable thing i have found is that people so rarely think to also extend this to personal relationships. at least, this is the realisation i have come to given my experiences. so before you begin down the slippery path of bitching out and airing out each and every last piece of dirty laundry between the pair of you to, well, basically everyone you meet in the street; consider the fact that this was either someone really significant to you at some point in time or, worse yet, someone who still is. also that word really does have such a pesky tendency of finding its way 'round the block and back and if that is not already enough to consider, that there may just be some crazy possibility you actually calm all the way down from your extremely heightened emotions and realise in hindsight that it really was not all that bad of a slip-up and want to continue being with this person—one, how could you face all of your friends and family again after all the smack talk and two, how could they?


now, do i think it is important to seek support through difficult situations as and when they arise in romantic relationships? absolutely. however, information must be presented as objective as possible and really only relayed to the very best judy's. if, for example, you and pretty much the whole world as you know it is fully aware that this one person has a reputation for being the village gossip, it stands to reason that that would not be the ideal candidate for spilling all of your relationship beans to. unless you want them all passed around, of course.


ultimately, though, whatever takes place between two people is well and truly none of anybody else's business. i now know enough to honestly say that regardless of whatever someone is telling you, that is simply one side of the story. as a friend and an outsider, i am often empathetic and sympathetic but i would always remain consistent in my advise: work it out with one another. if both parties are able to communicate honestly, well and jolly good. if not, then the choice is entirely in their hands to make. no matter the decision, my role as a friend will always be to provide love and support. not pass judgements.


funny how people seem to be so biased in their approaches of life sometimes. the universal piece of advise anybody would pass around when it comes to looking for new work is: never speak poorly of your previous employers to your potential new employers. likewise, people ought to know that speaking poorly of your ex-lovers to your potential new ones will bear the same outcome. red flag, hard pass.


thank you. next.