so, here we go—another day, another netflix blow-up.


i was tormented led by girlfriends to this show that as of yesterday (i do believe) is trending as the number one show in the country. based on an autobiography, i completed the entire show (that is all eight episodes) in one sitting last night. lots to unpack. and again, x your browser at this point if you are not about spoilers.



i cannot stress enough how much i loathe the main character, billie mann. i view her as the antagonist and genuinely feel that it is people like her who singlehandedly ruin the sanctity and institution of a marriage. at the start of the show, i related to homegirl so hard. i lived that life. i was billie mann. and brad simon? oh, yes. i definitely had one or two of those. where it began to divert for me was how billie had chosen to handle herself and her disgruntlement. being that i have watched Sex/Life in 2021, three days after i officially completed another trip around the sun and off the back of having done all of this inner work on myself; i think that if i were to ever be in her position, i would have a serious conversation with my significant other (not that this would be anything new) and go so far as to seek professional help together should there be no improvements.


an interesting point to note was how many of my girlfriends who are now married and/or co-habitating with their significant others admitted to relating to billie mann's frustrations. heck, i, myself, have struggled in long-term relationships as the majority of significant others were not able to match my drive and it was really very soul-destroying. in my last romantic relationship that spanned almost 24 months, i was rarely ever touched, we never, ever pillowtalked, makeout sessions were practically non-existent—i am pretty sure if you had looked up the atacama, my miserable mug would be right next to it as a listed synonym. these days, it is my compounded virulence that keeps me well accompanied and naturally impervious to any carnal neediness (even in the slightest) so there is that as a working remedy, i suppose. the bottom line is, though: through time, there has always been this inaccuracy pertaining to marriage wherein men are found to often make jokes about women turning asexual, et cetera. the truer fact, i have come to find through having honest conversations over time, is that men are the ones who become lacklustre, stale and languorous. in two words: absolutely unsexy.


hence, this is what i am grateful to Sex/Life for—blowing the lid right off this archaic myth pot of wives never wanting to engage with their husbands and bringing actual reality into light. here are some thoughts i am now left with after having watched the show:


  1. would it ever be possible for me to stop feeling physically attracted to my significant other?
  2. how do couples stay in love and physically attracted for 20 over years in monogamous marriages?
  3. why is marriage always cast in a negative light?
  4. why is it difficult for people to appreciate success? it is almost as if there is some addiction to affliction.
  5. are there actually men out there in the world who make conscious effort to be the best significant others and husbands every day?
  6. if my significant other's journal was accessible, would i ever read it?

now, of course i am aware that this is a drama and not a documentary. however, these questions are still relevant, i feel because these are all applicable to real life. me, personally, i subscribe to the philosophy that my future husband and i will have no secrets between us—every question he asks will be answered with complete, barenaked honesty. many of my friends, on the other hand, subscribe to the philosophy: leave the past in the past. in that, should their future spouse ask whether or not they have had relations with a specific individual, even if they had once upon a time, would lie and say no. just to "keep things simple." no right or wrong responses; i just would not be romantically involved with my friends for this very reason. personally, i care not for the things that have transpired in a person's past in the years prior to me being with them. the weight i place is in their acceptance of themselves—why the need to lie? is there shame attached? if yes, why so? et sic.


so, was it worth the watch? because i am deeply fascinated with the dynamics of human relationships, have a stomach for raunchy sex scenes (though i did have to hastily lower the volume more than once throughout the course of viewing) and had friends who were keen on having discussions with me about it: i cannot say that i regret jumping on the bandwagon.