you know, it's funny how with time i've realised that my list of pet peeves just keeps growing. i guess one could blame it on growing old but i'd personally like to attribute it to growing wiser (ahem). here, i've decided to document 10 of the things that really get my gears grinding in the worst possible ways(!)

starting with... numéro dix: smokers who have zero regard for anybody else's wellbeing.
i was recently at a friend's house gathering and after dinner, the lot of us had adjourned to the patio to sit and goss. that's when some mofos decided to take total advantage of the fact that we were outdoors to light up. what i wasn't fine with was the fact that before they'd done so, they did not even have the basic courtesy to ask if anybody minded and afterwards, my entire time was spent having to dodge cigarette smoke being blown directly into my face thanks to the direction of the wind versus where i'd been sitting. not. cool.

numéro neuf: people who have zero discretion.
i've come to realise that a lot of people seem to make the mistake of thinking that just because a person is comfortable with being totally honest about their situation(s) and/or experience(s) in life that, all of a sudden, that means that it's spreadable news and a free-for-all. the thing i feel that is mostly lacking these days is knowing when to share something and when not to. the person telling their story has every right to share anything they want because it's their story to tell. not yours. and if it ain't yours, then by all means, sit down, be humble and just feel free to help yourself to a nice big steaming mug of shut the fuck up.

numéro huit: no civic consciousness.
it honestly makes me so embarrassed to be malaysian sometimes. i mean, it's 2020 and just take a look at the state of our public toilets. c'mon y'all. it's not as if we still live in trees and have to dig holes in the soil when we need to go. also, this fucked up thing of leaving trash ON TOP of trashcans. seriously. what the fuck?

and ohmygoodness, don't even get me started on STATIONARY CARS IN YELLOW BOXES ON THE STREETS. i fuckin' abhor people who deliberately disregard yellow boxes!!! (in case that wasn't clear enough.)

if i could send one message to my fellow countrymen, it would be to please understand that you do not exist alone in this place. and in acknowledging that fact and knowing that, please, please, please have a thought for the next person who will use the toilet after you. the next person who might need to utilise the trashcan and the next driver in the car who could be trying to get to work or just needing to get where they need to be so STOP SELFISHLY BLOCKING THEIR WAY IF IT IS RIGHTFULLY THEIR RIGHT OF WAY.

and to think, the first obstacle to pass on your jalan raya (read: street) test is the friggin' Jangan Berhenti Di Dalam Petak Kuning (read: Do Not Stop In The Yellow Box). motherfather gentleman.

numéro sept: calculative people.
this is one of the things that never really used to bother me when i was younger. i guess i just figure that people are how they are and some like to do a lot of math in their lives. but now that i'm older, i think the very large reason why i detest this so much is because i am so far removed from a calculative person and i find people who constantly keep a scorecard in their head to be very disgusting. come to think of it, i also feel the same sentiment for people who are non-reciprocal. now let me illustrate a calculative person.

individual y and i once discussed the prospects of going on a vacation together. we decided on a location and then came the task of making the travel arrangements. typically, i consider this process to be quite missable. then again, i guess i've always had the good luck of travelling with very easygoing people. since this trip was going to just be individual y and myself, i suggested that one of us pays for the accommodation and the other one pays for flights. after all, we'd be going together as a pair and basically sharing everything. plus, it would not be out of budget (as we'd both selected the location) and i guess, if individual y had really wanted to just pay the lower amount, i would've conceded, too. see, i don't actually give a fuck about these types of things— we're friends, no?

however, individual y texted back and said: if you don't mind, can we separate everything? it's easier for me that way.

which honestly left a very sour taste in my mouth because it made me wonder "if you want to be separate, why bother going together?" and second, it was an eye-opener for me to see how much my value was with this specific person. see, this was never something i'd been aware of until one of my exes who'd, at the time, i'd still been in a relationship with; had broken it down to me.

someone who thinks of you as a permanent fixture in their life (much like a family member) will not focus on the "payback" or "what is owed." in short, they won't count pennies and cents with you. but someone who has the feeling that they don't know you all that well and would rather not "be in debt" or have a clean exit (so to speak) will insist on splitting everything down to the last decimal under the pretext of "being fair."

maybe this is some far-fetched or even warped logic but it makes a lot of sense to me because if i think back to every date i've ever been on that i knew right away i was just not interested to pursue any further (with romantic interest), i would either insist on paying for my share of the meal or buying them coffee after to even the score and not make it seem like i just swindled some free food.

calculative people, to me, are pretty much false/empty people. just a You Scratch My Back, I Scratch Yours sort of deal and honestly? ain't nobody got time for that. so, next.

numéro six: people who are constantly questioning other people.
my wish for humanity is for everybody to leave everybody alone. and by this, i mean stop asking people why they are who they are, how they are and what they are. why does it matter to anybody else what people's sexual orientation are, who they choose to be in a relationship with, whether or not they want to announce it or keep it to themselves. i frankly find it so exhausting and uncomfortable that everybody always forces someone else to explain. it ain't right and it angers me because technically, nobody needs to explain shit. if you don't get it, be respectful and learn. otherwise, it's fine. you don't need to get it. just unsubscribe. unfollow. un-obsess. and let people be.

numéro cinq: ingratitude and unkindness.
it's funny how these two traits may appear so small but does in fact weigh so much with me. i could find it in me to tolerate a lot (if i absolutely need to) but the two things i have zero tolerance for is people who don't know how to give simple thanks and people who feel they are above being kind. asking for things kindly. treating others kindly. or simply responding in a kind manner to someone who clearly means no harm.

numéro quatre: false promises.
this shit really gets on my nerves because the last time i checked, a promise is something made voluntarily. and so, by technical definition, this is something no one else puts on you, the promiser. and yet, there are people who just love to promise shit and never follow through. so, essentially, they're liars.

"i'll call you back" may seem to most like an offhand remark to get someone off the phone but i, for one, would not begin any sentence with a proactive "i will" unless i knew for certain that i was going to do whatever it was i said i would.

(this is another one of the things that didn't really use to be a thorn in my foot until now.)

why do so many people love to throw out lies and mask them as "little" and "white"? everything's significant and there is no innocence in doing something like that. if you don't wish to speak to a person, first of all, don't pick up the phone. but if you have, just tell the truth if you sincerely want to hang up ("i don't find this conversation to be particularly productive so i'm going to disconnect") or if there's something you'd rather do than to speak at length. maybe i find this peeving because i'm a stickler for honesty and thus react badly to fibbers.

numéro trois: plagiarisers.
imitation is the best form of flattery, right?
WRONG. #sorrynotsorry but i don't have much respect for unoriginal bozos who have no respect to give credit where its legitimately due. i'm not talking about citing your link source for where you've reposted some pinterest quote or whatever– trust me, i couldn't care less. i'm relating this to the unimaginative, lazy scum folk in my workplace that do nothing but thieve my call scripts all day when i actually take the time to tweak my shit and make sure i'm keeping my content fresh and compressed. i know it's lowkey barf-worthy to be like "everybody's copying me! waa!" but it's honestly so aggravating when all people do is parrot my lines and i know for a fact that they weren't saying that shit before i did.

it's even sadder when these copycat suckers get rewarded for "doing so well", too. it really sucks that life is unfair.

numéro deux: tardiness.
need i elaborate? tardy people are conceited, self-centred people with no respect for anyone else's time. i don't respect that. this pet peeve has actually been my top pet peeve for many years running but now, believe it or not, it has been overtaken.

numéro un: people who do not stand clear of elevator doors and rush right in.
one of these days, i genuinely hope i have the (very) good fortune to see somebody get facebutted. on that day, i'll remember writing this post and know that God truly does love me enough to make me as happy as i possibly could be in this lifetime. and that will also be the day my life will be made.