i've been meaning to write for the longest time. only, the trouble is that i'm usually finding that i'm the most verbose in that period of quietness and solitude just before sleep comes to claim me. and that i don't always have my laptop close at hand. which annoys me because i very much prefer writing on this wide(r) keyboard. at any rate, it's no new knowledge that i (severely) lack self-discipline. i keep saying i need to implement a daily routine with updating and to date, have not actually began to action anything. maybe this blog is going to be nothing but a testament to how much i fail on a daily basis to actually cultivate self-discipline.

ce que c'est amusant.

today is day 72 and by chance, i have just checked the ek website and saw that there will be an open day for the ninth of next month. i've been praying and praying for a chance to try again and i am ecstatic to say the least. i really want for this to be my life and now, more than ever, i am certain that this is what i want to be doing for the rest of time.

please, God. grant me this.

otherwise, i really wouldn't know what plan b will be.