ready, set, grow.

perhaps the greatest (and scariest sometimes) thing i've come to realise is that growth is infinite. the fact that this year will be the last year of my being a 20-something, there is definitely an altered sense of self. i feel a lot more assured in my character. i am now at a stage where i can confidently say, i know who i truly am. i know the things i encompass and i know all that i will stand for and all that i won't and most probably, never will. i am (so much) more rooted as an individual and it is unquestionably apparent that there might be a very large possibility that no one will ever know me as well and as deeply as i first know myself. and maybe that's just how it goes.

maybe, that's okay.

it's interesting to recognise how these days, what little friends i have left who are still invested in documenting their lives on the internet are the ones who are parents. i suppose when you're raising lives and nurturing human beings, you don't ever want to think you could potentially miss out on some development breakthrough. you simply can't. you couldn't bear it. and so it drives the urge to record as much as possible. but in my case, i suppose you could say its the same for myself and i. i realise i've been so different through each day of each month of each year and it has been both beautiful and unnerving simultaneously. yet, i find that i am utterly fascinated by, well, at the risk of sounding hopelessly narcissistic— me.

to be ever-evolving and to know that (and i mean, really know it) is incredible. maybe it's not quite as interesting as jotting down notes through firsthand observation of the evolution of a human life from inception to end but i know that even as i am 28 going on 82, i know that i am still learning every day (and bit by bit) to not simply embrace and blindly accept that this is who and how i am but to, more importantly, understand why i am the way that i am and what has formed me, how. i am wholly dedicated to this ceaseless study of self and vow to never stop getting acquainted with myself. yesterday, today and for all the tomorrows still to come.

it has been such a rush to discover through living life, the paradox that is being alive thus far. i am, at this exact moment, young enough to know that anything i want is simply not out of reach but old enough to understand that everything that happens is not really for me to determine. there is a time, a season, a reason, a process. and as scary as it is for me to relinquish control, i have come to realise that the best things can only happen when i really and truly let go and let God steer.

so if we're still talking resolutions 79 days delayed, i want to rid the fear— totally take my hands off the wheel and allow Jesus to steer.

ready, set, restart.

it has finally been made possible. i have arrived at this stage following many, many years of Reboots and Try Agains with blogging— i have finally been blessed with the opportunity and absolute privilege to work with an incredibly talented designer to, at long last, craft the layout of my dreams! (well, at least for the next few decades or so!)

this post commemorates the start of a brand new journey in a brand new direction. and how apt, too. seeing as how yesterday, i was fortunate enough to bear witness to this beautiful individual's coming full circle. an end to one life, a beginning of another. it was truly moving to know and see for myself that struggles can and in fact, do pay off. and that a relationship that is built on and rooted in Christ is truly one that'll be smooth-sailing and always accomplished through all that is rough and tough in life.

i was really grateful to have been given the honour to be present. and wish nothing but happiness to the newlyweds! onwards and onwards!

following the wedding, and on a total whim, i decided i'd kidnap this lovely young lady and take her on an adventure up the only mountain i know that's easy enough for me to access: genting highlands!

i figured it'd be the perfect opportunity to talk, stroll, shop maybe, eat (of course!) and create memories. boy, did we! towards the end of the night, we ended up getting rather lost trying to get ourselves back to the parking garage. it wasn't exactly the sort of adventure i'd had in mind but it was one nonetheless!

thankful for the fact that my sunday was spent productively. when it comes to sundays, i'm usually stuck on one mode: bummed out because it means saying goodbye to the weekend.